Cougars.
Is it me, or did the moniker not have quite such a negative connotation when the usage first began? Does anyone like to be called a Cougar today? Are there women out there who would willingly refer to themselves as Cougars unless they were being paid big bucks to portray one on a reality TV show? Are you aware that along with Cougars there are now Pumas, Mountain Lions, Panthers (black Cougars), Sabertooths and more?
According to the Urban Dictionary, their definitions are as follows;
A COUGAR
An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.
"That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more."
Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"
There are millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.
An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you.
A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted. A cougar's victims are usually under 25, as cougars prefer to mate with men who still have hair. Cougars generally feed and then continue hunting, as they enjoy role reversal.
A JAGUAR
In the lexicon of older women seeking younger men, a jaguar is 50 and over, where the cougar is in their 40s, and the puma under 40. Jaguars tend to be financially stable and are only looking for sex from their 20 something prey.
"I was eaten by a jaguar last night."
A MOUNTAIN LION
A mountain lion is similar to a cougar, only it refers to an UN-attractive older woman seeking younger men. The only difference between the terms mountain lion and cougar are that cougars are usually somewhat attractive, and mountain lions are usually quite ugly. The mountain lion's natural habitat is at bars.
"I was walking back from the men's room, and a mountain lion tried to attack me with a crotch grab!
I thought I spotted a cougar across the bar, but she turned around, and was definitely a mountain lion."
A SABERTOOTH
A good looking woman of retirement age who enjoys the company of much younger men. In other words, a woman who has outgrown her status as a cougar but is still remarkably attractive. Sometimes referred to as a GMILF.
A woman so old she should be extinct yet still out hunting meat.
A sabertooth is a woman that is the older version of the cougar. A 60+ year old women who is on the prowl for fresh young male meat. She is old, rich, and looking for a crazy night of sex with a guy who can go all night long without Viagra.
A PUMA
A woman who is not quite old enough to be a cougar, but still likes to date/mate with younger men.
"Dating a puma wasn't so bad", Bob reflected. "After all, the sex was great and she never minded picking up the tab when they went out on the weekend."
A young woman typically in the age range of 20 to 32. They lurk in the shadows of bars and clubs wearing the newest fashions and listening to the trendiest music. They mostly hunt in packs for a man typically younger than them that they can string around for the night and make their boy toy. They sometimes travel with a Cougar or two, these are their mothers. Be warned being mauled by a Puma is better than a Cougar or Sabertooth
So how do ya like them apples? I think they're rotten to the core. How did we let this happen to us? Again. Still. How did we strong, independent, fun-loving, fabulous females in our prime allow society to label us so negatively in an effort to keep us where they think we belong?
I found one not-quite-so-bad definition. It's not great but I have to say I prefer it over the others;
A COUGAR
Hot and sexy older woman, usually in her 40s or 50s, single or married, who is sick of her same-age counterparts who are usually hairless, have big guts, who only talk about their insurance premiums and have the TV remote control attached to their hands. Cougars are attractive, in their sexual prime, who know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it. BIG misconception is that they dress cheap, wear hot pink nail polish, animal skin prints and are not-so-attractive old-looking hags with bleached hair (Yeah those women exist, but they are NOT cougars). True cougars are classy, beautiful creatures who have made their successes on their own, have real brains, usually with expensive cars/homes, and are real head turners. Cougars seek younger men, and don't have to sneak up and attack...they know their younger mates are eager to get an experienced woman who won't ask if they'll call them the next day. Being a cougar is a positive thing.
You know what name I prefer even more? Magnificent, Modern, Mature Chick. That's my label and I'm sticking to it.
